Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.