Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.