is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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