you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Can I color on your dick again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
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