# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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