is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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