I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
