I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Randomize