Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
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You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
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Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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