i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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