worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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