He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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