Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
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