New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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