i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize