I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
It was like getting head from an anaconda
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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