I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
