Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize