You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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