is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
