my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize