I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
