What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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