He told me they were just razor bumps!
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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