they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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