I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
The air was thick with penises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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