...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
