I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
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I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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