I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
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