Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize