he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
