Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
