took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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