we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Randomize
