i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
