Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
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Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
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In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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