I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
