i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize