I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
