Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize