Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
