Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
