The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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