he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
