He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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