making cat noises will not fix the situation.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
