Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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