FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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