I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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