just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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