either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
