I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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